Admit it. You couldn’t stop staring at Talia’s ass in the latest and greatest Batman title Arkham City. I know I couldn’t. I had to pause the game to do a double take on it. And after staring at Batman’s ass most of the game, I’m glad the guys over at Rocksteady gave us short respites of high-energy estrogen action to take our minds off of the immense sausage fest that was Arkham Asylum. Without Catwoman, Harley, Talia, or Ivy, Arkham City would’ve been the largest homoerotic gang bang ever depicted in the history of gaming. I mean, it’s a cold day in hell when ole’ Brucie isn’t completely surrounded by sweaty men on all sides vying to just see what’s under all that rubber. And in a world where a large majority of the gaming community play titles completely bereft of any female characters *cough* Call of Duty, Arkham Asylum was a delicacy.




Catwoman – “The Switch”




Like Two-Face, there are two sides to every coin, and Miss Kyle is no exception to that rule. She’s a multifaceted woman who can be incredibly charming in a submissive manner, and undeniably intimidating in others. Catwoman’s appeal in Arkham City not only comes from her looks alone, she’s hetero-flexible about as much as she is physically flexible. Men love her. Women want to be her. (Maybe some men will want to be her too!) Both will find her sex appeal to be mouth-watering. In a BDSM sense, Selina is just as much of a top as she is a bottom. She’s both a domme and a sub. This is why Catwoman is a “switch,” and also why we all find her so irresistible.


Talia al-Ghul – “The Femme Fatale”




While Catwoman could also be categorized under the “Femme Fatale,” in terms of Arkham City, Daddy’s girl, Talia al-Ghul really stood out as the most apparent candidate for it. Villainess in one hand, anti-heroine in the other, Talia is perhaps the most magnetic female character in AC. As a player I absolutely felt the sexual tension between Bruce and Talia, and it’s obvious that they had something going on at some point within the continuity of the Batman universe. Exactly what, however, is left up to our imaginations. What I do know is that Batman’s hormones were totally racing merely upon the sight of Talia, and Arkham City does a magnificent job in illustrating this to us. Bruce’s love for Talia is a conflict of interest. He’s a superhero. And she’s a daughter to a mass-murdering fuckhead. Like any respectable “Femme Fatale” Talia is hypnotic, deadly, sexually electric, and a lying bitch who does at least one good deed to help Bruce along the way in Arkham City.






Harley Quinn-“The Crazy Bitch”


In terms of BDSM power dynamics, Harley Quinn is totally a bottom. A power bottom. But still a bottom. Totally gaga for The Joker, it’s clear that she’s the kind of lady who gets off to being told what to do, at any cost. With a misleading and whimsical exterior Harley is perhaps one of the most tragic characters in Arkham City. It’s clear that even in instances of domestic abuse, betrayal, and down right cruelty on the Joker’s part she would still come back again and again to her man because she loves him so much. He is her everything. While intelligent in her own right, Quinn’s sexual appeal comes from the fact that she’s been molded to be what her man wanted her to be. And while I don’t necessarily agree with Harley’s unconditional obedience to the Joker, there’s no denying that there are players out there who will find her character type as appealing, than both Talia and Catwoman combined. While Harley Quinn possesses some bi-curious qualities to her, she definitely has a disposition for those with outer plumbing. Especially for those kind of men who just want to see the world burn.

Yes, idiot radicals who aren’t at all familiar with the rich story line of the Batman franchise can say that the ladies of Arkham City are nothing more than vapid bimbos with perfect bodies, but I beg to differ. It’s the ladies of AC that really complete the experience for me, and give me the motivation to go back and do the whole Arkham City thing all over again.









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