10. Lucent Heart Dating

Worst game trailer? What is it? What does it mean? Truth be told, we don’t know. All we can be certain of is that the louder you turn up the music, the better – ahem! – we mean the worse (of course we mean worse) this becomes. Belt it out and dance along. In fact… don’t.

9. Ribbit King Plus – Frolf Dance

Worst game trailer? Well, can you do the Frolf Dance exactly as you see it on screen? Does anyone care? No, in both instances. This trailer is truly awful, but it is from one of the best games of all time, and by that we mean worst games of all time. Which means best.

8. Final Fantasy XIII – My Hands (Leona Lewis)

Worst game trailer? Okay, look, Final Fantasy XIII wasn’t a bad game. In fact, we’d even go as far as to say that we loved it. But this isn’t about bad games, this is about bad trailers, and this saccharine anti-masterpiece makes us so sick, each time we watch it we puke our own skulls right out of our heads.

7. Operation Darkness

Worst game trailer? We’re watching an anime character reminiscing the horrors of World War II. What a tragically perfect, beautiful and thought-provoking way to honour those who died in the conflict. But wait! We can throw fireballs and… some of these Nazis are werewolves, while others just have incomprehensibly enormous jugs. Man, those history book had it so wrong.

6. Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (Debut trailer)

Worst game trailer? Controversial? To some, but no good list passes up on an opportunity to rip into the world’s biggest franchise. Why should it? It’s a big boy. It can take it. What we specifically hate about this trailer is the laziness. It seems all you have to do is stick a horn sound over something – one that rhythmically goes bleeeeeugh! – and then cut between bleeeeeugh! lots of shit blowing up bleeeeeugh! and people abseiling down the bleeeeeugh! side of a bleeeeeugh!

5. F.E.A.R. 3 (Point Man)

Worst game trailer? You’re a brave developer/publisher if you ditch both your game engine and your company’s talent for CG in favour of live action. You no longer stand shoulder to shoulder with other CG game trailers, but face to pubic hair with the Hollywood film industry. Is your trailer as accomplished as that of the latest Bourne movie? If you only have the budget for a Jesus impersonator to run around a building site with a rubber gun, it was probably best to stick with the CG.

4. Champion Jockey G1 Jockey and Gallop Racer

Worst game trailer? When his wife saw this, she left him; this is the exact same face he wore during you know what, and she suddenly realised that he wasn’t actually enjoying himself as she’d always thought. He was just pretending. This right here sums up beautifully why we think motion control is a big, fat waste of time.

3. Halo 4 (Debut Trailer)

Worst game trailer? What? What’s this? An Xbox 360-only magazine moaning about the Halo 4 trailer? Damn right. This is the epitome of awful. When you first hit play, you’re thinking, ‘Hey, there’s 1:41 of this, must be good,” then there’s 11 seconds of age gate warnings, followed by another 39 seconds or so of an orange blobby thing that has nothing to do with anything.

Master Chief’s ship is on fire, so he rocket-pack’s his way to the blown-open part at the front. Then, seeing that whatever blew his ship’s nose off is clearly nowhere to be seen, he does what? That’s right; he readies his pistol. Of course. What else would you do when standing in space? But, by far the worst thing about this trailer for us is that people actually got excited about it. About what? No… really. About what? Nothing happened. If you believe something did happen in this trailer do let us know in the comments below, but to be honest, we’re convinced it’s a figment of everyone’s imagination.

2. Duke Nukem Trilogy

 Worst game trailer? Now, a lot of people think this trailer is a joke. A tongue-in-cheek masterpiece designed to make the knowing, noddin, intelligencia engage in a masterful round of onanism. Aren’t we clever, because we get it? We get the irony and look at all those fools out there who think this is awful. It’s genius!

Bzzzt! Wrong. This trailer was made to play on loop in the Duke Nukem booth at E3 2008. It has no irony. It may be funny because, hey, it’s bad, but tongues were very far from cheeks when this was made. Glad we have that one cleared up.

1. Wolf Quest

Worst game trailer? I smell Elk! Clearly, this is one of the worst games ever made. Sure, it looks like a fairly stupid simulation of wolf life, but dig beneath that stupid veneer and you’ll find a whole new level of stupid, untouched by the hands of those not stupid enough to appreciate it.

And it’s boring. There’s literally not one activity here that looks the remotest bit fun, and if you look very carefully, you can see the subtle looks on the faces of the not-very-good child actors they’ve roped in to pretend to enjoy it; they’re holding back a geyser of vomit.